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Please enjoy these inspirational quotes by Groucho Marx.
Humor is reason gone mad.
- Groucho Marx
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
I got a good mind to join a club
and beat you over the head with it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup
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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
- Groucho Marx
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
- Groucho Marx
Afraid? Me? A man who's licked
his weight in wild caterpillars?
Afraid? You bet I'm afraid!
- Groucho Marx
Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
- Groucho Marx
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A well-developed sense of humor
is the pole that adds balance to your steps,
as you walk the tightrope of life.
- William Arthur Ward
Through humor, you can soften some
of the worst blows that life delivers.
And once you find laughter,
no matter how painful your situation might be,
you can survive it.
- Bill Cosby
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
- Mark Twain
So long as you have courage and a sense of humor,
it is never too late to start life afresh.
- Freeman Dyson
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
- William James
A sense of humor... is needed armor.
Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips
is a sign that the person down deep
has a pretty good grasp of life.
- Hugh Sidey
One can never speak enough of the virtues,
the dangers, the power of shared laughter.
- Francoise Sagan
You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore
A person without a sense of humor
is like a wagon without springs.
It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
- Henry Ward Beecher
A joke is a very serious thing.
- Winston Churchill
A willingness to laugh at itself is what distinguishes
a compassionate religion from a cult.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
- Stephen Hawking
Life is not a tragedy, it is a comedy.
To be alive means to have a sense of humor.
- Osho
If I had no sense of humor,
I would long ago have committed suicide.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
Good humor is the health of the soul,
sadness is its poison.
- Lord Chesterfield
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
Wit is the lowest form of humor.
- Alexander Pope
Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor
Few people know how to take a walk.
The qualifications are endurance,
plain clothes, old shoes, an eye for nature,
good humor, vast curiosity, good speech,
good silence and nothing too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor
Confucius might have said:
Once frightened, twice smelly in armpit.
- Anonymous humor
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing,
moving at different speeds.
A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
- William James
Seriousness is a sickness; your sense of humor
makes you more human, more humble.
The sense of humor - according to me -
is one of the most essential parts of religiousness.
- Osho
I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor
In truth, politeness is artificial good humor,
it covers the natural want of it,
and ends by rendering habitual a substitute
nearly equivalent to the real virtue.
- Thomas Jefferson
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
- Aristotle
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you aren't in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret.
- Jim Carrey
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen
Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Anger is like a thorn in the heart.
- Yiddish Proverb
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
Forgiveness is an act of self-love and respect.
- don Miguel Ruiz
Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Clouds come floating into my life,
no longer to carry rain or usher storm,
but to add color to my sunset sky.
- Rabindranath Tagore
Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek,
but a means by which we arrive at that goal.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
Life expands to fill your dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu
I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale
Choose your Habits, Choose your Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell
Life is an adventure.
I can only wonder what treasure
awaits at the top of the path.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is an exciting business,
and most exciting when it is lived for others.
- Helen Keller
Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we are here we might as well dance.
- Anonymous
Anger? perhaps there is a better way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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