Joke Quotes

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Thank You,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.
When the loyal opposition dies,
I think the soul of America dies with it.
- Edward R. Murrow

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

Love is the only force capable of
transforming an enemy into friend.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new,
meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

Why live?
Adding one to my count of days, or postponing
a feared death by another day do not inspire me.
I live to experience something new each day -
to learn something new, meet a new friend,
bring joy into someone's life,
feel the wind newly on my skin,
touch a new fear, a new anger,
and with focused intent and good fortune,
find an ample measure of my own joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance,
chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow.
- Melody Beattie

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

Lord, grant comfort, joy and health
to those I call friend,
to those I call enemy,
and to those I have cursed by my indifference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

A friend knows the song in my heart
and sings it to me when my memory fails.
- Donna Roberts

If you wish to succeed in life,
make perseverance your bosom friend,
experience your wise counselor,
caution your elder brother,
and hope your guardian genius.
- Joseph Addison

A friend encourages your dreams and offers advice -
but when you don't follow it,
they still respect and love you.
- Doris Wild Helmering

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous

If I mayn't tell you what I feel,
what is the use of a friend?
- William Makepeace Thackeray

A best friend is like a four leaf clover,
hard to find and lucky to have.
- Anonymous

A true friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous

Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard

A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

A true friend sees the good in everything,
and brings out the best in the worst of things.
- Sasha Azevedo

The best friend is the man who in wishing me well
wishes it for my sake.
- Anonymous

An insincere and evil friend is more
to be feared than a wild beast;
a wild beast may wound your body,
but an evil friend will wound your mind.
- The Buddha

It is my choice to care deeply about others.
No kindness is too small to be important -
the smile to the bank teller,
the sincere "thank you" for all kindnesses received,
the reassuring hand on the shoulder of a loved one or friend.
There is compassion in selfless generosity,
but there is also compassion in heartfelt empathy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We need to find God, and he cannot
be found in noise and restlessness.
God is the friend of silence.
See how nature - trees, flowers, grass-
grows in silence; see the stars,
the moon and the sun, how they move in silence...
We need silence to be able to touch souls.
- Mother Teresa

The only reward of virtue is virtue;
the only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

What is a friend? I will tell you ...
it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.
- Frank Crane

There is danger that we lose sight of
what our friend is absolutely,
while considering what she is to us alone.
- Henry David Thoreau

A sister is a gift to the heart,
a friend to the spirit,
a golden thread to the meaning of life.
- Isadora James

The only thing to do is to hug one's friend tight and do one's job.
- Edith Wharton

In everyone's life, at some time,
our inner fire goes out.
It is then burst into flame
by an encounter with another human being.
We should all be thankful for those people
who rekindle the inner spirit.
- Albert Schweitzer

An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar,
but I cherish the friend who for me
does not consult his calendar.
- Robert Brault

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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